How to be less judgemental about people around us
November 8, 2019
Last Updated on
“Even god doesn’t propose to judge a man till his last days, why should you and I?”
Here one question pops up that what is actually meant by being judgemental? What if we are being judged everyday by others? Do people like being judgemental over everything and about almost everyone?
Judgmental is a bleak word to describe someone who often rushes to judgment without any prior reason. Judgmental ones are not open-minded or easy-going. They are the ones who enjoys making harsh judgments of others out of a sense of moral one-up-manship. If we are making false judgements then we are doing wrong to the society, mankind and most importantly it depicts bad on our part. “When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself”.
Yes, we all at some point are judgemental and we don’t even realise that we are giving negative vibes to the people around us and we are cutting off our chances of getting good image in the society or making new friends. There are some points which can be considered that you are judgemental.
- You are intolerant of people unlike you.
- You are generally pessimistic about life.
- You tend to believe people are either good or bad.
- You struggle to truly appreciate or see the beauty in others.
- You have low self-worth.
- You feel anxious around other people.
- You are suspicious and untrusting.
- You have a strong inner critic who judges you.
How about if no one is judging anyone? And everyone mind their own businesses and no one would be hurt from the negative sentences they hear everyday about themselves. That would be such a great thought. But for that we need to know how to be less judgemental about everything.!!
Changing Your Perspective:
- Embracing Positive and Good Thinking: A negative mind or negative thoughts can lead to various misunderstandings and can hurt anyone. Its reality that today we take things as they are said. But to avoid this behaviour we should see the positive aspect of the thought and keep moving ahead with the peace of mind.
- Its Okay to have bad or negative days: Sometimes we feel like our day is ruined by some jerks or someone but we should learn to forgive ourselves rather than punishing ourselves with negativity and regrets. Having a positive attitude can transform your life.
- Notice when you’re judging: When you find yourself having not so good or reluctant thoughts about someone, ask yourself first that, does this matter to you or this could hurt the other or not. Instead, offer a compliment. For example, if you are thinking, “That girl needs to lose some weight.” Challenge your thought, and say something nice that you feel like speaking, such as, You have a beautiful smile!
- Be grateful: Appreciate good things in life and celebrate with friends or families in order to distract your mind.
- Observe the common ground: If you are talking to someone, instead of finding faults in his/her, start looking for commodities.
Broadning your Horizons:
- Be curious: You have to have this curious nature in order to ignore the judgements coming in your mind. For instance, if you find someone fighting then rather than pointing out that these are jerks, at that time you should be curious enough to know what is the actually reason behind this fight.
- Hang out with diverse group of people: Making an effort to hang out and enjoy with people who are different from you in many ways can help open up your mind. Whether your friends are different because of their race, culture, religion, interests, class, ideas, hobbies, careers, being around people who come from a variety of backgrounds and have a variety of perspectives can help you have a better sense of all of the ideas that are out in the world.
- Travel as much as you can: Travelling can broaden your horizons and will let you explore different cultures and moreover, you will be able to manage your budgets and all which will help you in managing your budgets, you can easily talk to people (you will always know what the other person is going to speak), and can learn something new or valuable from the new person you meet.
- Always ask questions: Opening up and asking questions can make the person feel comfortable and he will open up to you as well.
Keeping An Open Mind:
- Stop being right always: Remember that most of the situations are complicated and can’t be judged on what is right or wrong there are many shades of grey.
- Start listening the point of views: Rather than always imposing your ideas you should always listen everyone’s perspective that will make you less judgemental and more of a sorted and smart person.
- Don’t judge based on appearance: If you feel like the other person’s dressing sense is not nice and his/her complexion, height, weight is not good but that don’t mean that the person don’t have a nice character or nature. You should always talk to them first instead of judging them based on the looks.
- Stop labelling people: While you a have a fight or argument with someone you should not use bad words or labels like jerks, nerds or any vulgar words. Be a gentleman always and don’t use words like these.
- Accept people on their own terms: World have different communities and every community have different learnings and perspectives, we should accept the person as they are, because the teachings and learnings all are very different and everyone has different mindsets. Accept it and start talking to them.
- Don’t gossip about other people: Gossiping is a type of virus that reaches everyone very fastly and it spreads ill judgements about a person that could make their real identity loose and everyone’s perspective towards that person will change. That is not a good activity to do instead we should stop practicing doing gossips about someone.
“You have a perfect right to consign us all to hell, rector, but you must allow us the choice of how we get there”